Kalkan Turkey Forum - EnjoyKalkan.com
Kalkan Discussion => Holiday Reports and Reviews => Topic started by: Chris_S on September 08, 2015, 06:20:28 PM
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Day One - An expected Journey (with apologies to J R R Tolkien)
Now the question to start with, is this going to be Antler-stle, Lizilu or Shirl? The answer is probably none of them, principally because watching the dawn with a coffee is an alien concept, and I have no-one downstairs making cafetières for me...
Unlike a certain creature who's exploits have filled the cinematic screens for a few Christmases, this journey did not start out with an unannounced visit from a grey-cloaked Wizard! No, this was planned twelve months ago when we re-booked at the hotel for the following year. Essential when there's only 30 something rooms. As there's only the two of us Villas are out of the question, and apartments tend not to be cost-effective at the moment, so the same hotel, same room (generally) and same routine turns into a comfort zone like an old cardigan.
The anticipation of counting down the days (courtesy of apps - only 343 days to go, 342, 341....) and getting everything in place prior to setting out is more than likely the same everywhere - we just make it more complicated by splitting everything between two cases (no His and Hers), in case one ends up in Reykjavik.
Anyway, this totally expected journey meant, like the aforementioned creatures with hairy feet, that we leave Middle Shires and face the Dark Riders, sorry, Battenberg decorated vehicles searching for miscreants on the M25 to Gatwick (Remember when it was Airwick Gatport?), fortunately, though it was Monday Morning, the delays on the Western side were annoying but not enough for panic to set in. (Apologies to those who have no idea of the purgatory that is the M25).
Valet Parking at Gatwick avoided the 'who thought this scheme up?' thoughts that accompany both 'Park and Ride' and 'Meet and Greet' systems, which both consist of 'We've got your car, off you go/there's the bus, (in 20 minutes), and we'll let you have it back when we're ready', by a smooth process , though the two minute walk to the terminal was 5 minutes because they've moved the drop-off to a tent somewhere else. It was efficient, polite and worth doing again, though.
For once, BA was on time, near enough, the Dalaman flight being notoriously late all year due to the aircraft always being late in from Bari (Italy). suffice to say that although pushback was a meagre 8 minutes late, the engines didn't start for another 25 minutes; but when they did, the ground traffic meant we didn't stop until the end of the runway. I suspect this saved about a ton of fuel, so it's probably quite smart! It took us a few minutes to realise the drinks were free - damn these habits the budget airlines get you used to (I mean you, O'Leary!). Landing at Dalaman was only ten minutes late, which as far as I'm concerned is on time; and queue-jumping Passport Control (Special Assistance - an advantage), the usual wait while the cases seem to be the last on the carousel. Then the mayhem that is 'Find your taxi driver', as every man and his dog waves pieces of paper with names on, none of which, are of course, yours. The same hotel, but not the same people! Eventually all was resolved as the 'Man from Define Tours' (no relation to the Man from DelMonte) made some calls and found our driver.
One hour twenty-five minutes later, we're at the hotel. All the usual hugs and welcomes, bags dropped in the room and down to the bar for a quick drink. Well, would have been if there weren't a dozen or so familiar faces to catch up with, or at least start to catch up with! A couple of Efes and a similar number of glasses of red wine, left us suitably invigorated to unpack, get ready for the morrow, and sleep. And it was still only 1130pm UK time - and we're in Earth's answer to Paradise, as well.
As Scarlet O'Hara, says, 'Tomorrow's another day'
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Looking forward to reading your blogs Chris. First day back at work today and already missing Kalkan.
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Yay, thank goodness. So pleased that you've taken up the reins Chris. Very much looking forward to your posts. Sounds like a great start to your holiday. Have fun.
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I knew, hoped, there would be someone who would take up the reins.......look forward to hearing about tomorrow Scarlet! :laugh:
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Well you're a dark horse Chris_S ;)
Thank you for carrying the baton and enjoy lots of lovely walks down Bougainvilla boulevard. Can't wait to hear all about it. :)
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Nice to have someone staying at our favourite place in Kalkan. Hope everyones well there. I know you will be well looked after so have a great time.
BarbH
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Great first post, Chris_S...hoping you are there for a while yet and there are lots more tomorrows to come.
How lucky are we..?
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Day Two – Familiar Territory
So, up with the lark (do they have larks in Turkey?), or what passes for that time of the day for us. It’s certainly not dawn or anything close.
Breakfast at the hotel, more greetings, hugs, handshakes and catching up with the perennial regulars, or rarer bi-perennials. Breakfast thus takes longer than it should, but for all the right reasons, combined with all the headline tit-bits of what’s happened to whom over the past year.
And then the recce.
The early morning descent into the town, via Nilüfer Sokak, aka Bougainvillea Boulevard, to complete the mission for the day. No Mr Phelps, or self-destructing tape machines here, just that first morning explore to see what’s changed first hand and generally soak up and appreciate what we’ve been looking for all year.
Needless to say we can’t get past Chillies without being stopped by Ewan and his wife, which would be a first! However we may just get away with it another time, if Ewan is not looking, because Mr Happy is still recovering (as his family) from the serious accident, and what Ewan misses, Mr Happy didn’t! With promises to return, we move onto the town, stopping only at Lucky for those few essentials that you can’t be bothered to bring and carry 1700 miles onto the Old Town.
Here we have to do the first important thing of the day. New battery for a watch! Why is it these inanimate things always seem to know that you’re on holiday and then decide to stop? Do they sense the changing time zone, the temperature or what, and then give up the ghost? No doubt Douglas Adams would surmise that, in accordance with Einsteins laws, the speed of travel with BA has obviously stopped time on the journey and the watch is in fact working, you are just several hours younger and time is relative. A few TL lighter and the cash left in the safe keeping of Yardan, we manage to intermittently get to Göz via the circuitous route of Wella to book the Boss’s hair appointments, with the usual hugs from Yusuf, more from Husseyein outside Samphire before we get to Alternatif to book a table for the evening.
Next stop, Göz, to get the bent spectacle frames (long story) put right, unfortunately Barbaras is doing a sales pitch, so we retire to a local hostelry for a brief pause.
History and tradition dictates that this is normally Sunset (more hugs), where we chill out (or chillax, if we were a politician), because the view is one of the best of the bay. Well was, someone seems to have been feeding the tree in the front and it’s rather obscuring the view – I wonder if it’s the increased potash from the earlier adjacent fire? However, a few Efes softens the relative disappointment while we blame nature.
Suitably refreshed, Barbaras sorts out the frames and fixes another problem with mine I didn’t know I had! How he knew is beyond me, but that’s professionals for you!
And so the climb back, pitons and climbing ropes at the ready, we ascend the easier South face of the Old Town up to Moonlight, and so to Chillies for Lunch and the hotel to recover, and get the UV doing it’s job.
Alternatif’s heaving this evening – who said it was quiet in Kalkan? Certainly not with someone’s birthday with the addition of the flares and fireworks – EU Health and Safety weren’t anywhere to be seen…
After a delay presumably by people who don’t know they’ve overstayed their welcome and are destroying the table schedule for the night, we get seated, having consumed a couple of glasses of red beforehand and then to enjoy the Liver starter, Shrimp Casserole and Jack Daniels Steak. What were they like? The shrimp Casserole is on the ‘have again’ list, though shrimps fall into the category we Brits call prawns; and the JD steak, was perfect – I NEVER have steaks in the UK as they NEVER cook them as you order them, always tending to the cremated end rather than the ‘just stopped walking’ point I prefer. This was medium rare, and the creamy sauce was light and enabled you to still walk afterwards! Turns out, with huge apologies from Mustafa, someone had forgotten our booking and seated someone else! Duh! At least they admitted it. The late start meant we skipped dessert this time, stuck with the coffee and Strawberry Daiquiris and down to the Pirat for a taxi (the Sherpa having been given the night off) and back to the hotel…
Where the bar was busy, and much recounting of apocryphal stories and more updating on what everyone’s done this year! At least until 0130am when it seemed desirable to retire – another busy day tomorrow, checking the suns rays, the food and drink and so on.
Tough Job, but someone has to do it….
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Loving your reports Chrid_s! Our trips into town were very much like that! Walk Down, taxi home! When Barbaras was busy, we were to be found enjoying Sarkan's iced coffees in cafe del mar! Keep up the reports x
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Enjoyed your report Chris. Never tried Alterntif, must put it on the list, although that list keeps growing. We love Bouganvillia Avenue, it's so pretty.
What hotel are you staying in, we've stayed in the Yeni Korsan which was lovely. We're staying in the Oasis soon.
Carry on having fun.
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;D ;D
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Day 3 – Situation: Almost Normal
The travelling’s out of the way, and recovered from, body clocks adjusted – almost, the recce’s done and the brain’s nearly in 100% Kalkan mode. Now to get on with the serious business of capitalizing on the year’s highlight, and making the most of being here.
10am and Adda deliver the car – no marathon trips planned, this is more taking advantage of, and going to, those attractions that aren’t walking distance or outside the precincts of Kalkan – this enables us to do it on our terms, timing and most of all, whim! Halil on reception has decided that the car is pronounced Jook, with an upturn on the ‘oo’ and clipping the whole word. It must be amusing in Turkish! Trouble is, in the UK they are having the same pronunciation (why do most seem to be driven by young women in the UK - answers on a postcard…)!
So the Jook sits there, waiting our bidding, with just enough fuel to get us to Kaş and back if we wished, but that’s not on the agenda (at the moment). I wish car rentals would deliver with a full tank and return on the same basis, then you wouldn’t have to guess how much fuel you might need (gripe over).
Just time for some initial horizontal UV absorption before lunch, with occasional visits to the bar for coffee (trying to be sensible and refrain from anything stronger until Lunch, at least – where’s that yardarm again?), then the first excursion.
Once again tradition rears it’s head (ugly or otherwise) and Jook heads out to Adem’s for lunch. Being one of those people that’s lived in a few countries that drive on the right, the adaption kicks in after a couple of hundred metres, fortunately without incident, as the Bougainvillea is still there. And Adem’s place is entered after some cautious manoeuvring because of that awful entrance on the bend; it doesn’t take long for him to spot us approaching without killing anything and all the usual welcomes take place, followed by a précis of the past year.
A sensible lunch, looking out across the sea to the islands with a Calamari and Menemen on opposite sides of the table accompanied with white wine for the passenger and a much safer and cautious option for the driver (the downside in one sense, but probably the saviour of the liver in others). Reflecting on how Adem seems to have weathered some downturns over the years, things seem to be ticking over quite nicely now, and seeing the family grow up and contribute is encouraging. The new addition, Lily the goat, seems unperturbed by the attention all these strange visitors give her, and as she seems to have become a family pet, may well be unlikely to be a goat stew in later life!
With the requisite notes made in the guest book (we may well have identified Antler in there – but then we’re not Holmesian enough to deduce much apart from guesswork and a clue or two), we return to the hotel to recover and digest enough to enjoy the evening without discomfort.
Which, ultimately, is Sofra. But before then, the car rental needed paying, so the more agile of us (that’d be me, then) abseiled down from Moonlight to Adda and returned by a solo climb without aids back to the base camp, where the VAT was waiting. Breath restored and chatting to a couple, who coincidentally, had been waiting at Alternatif with us the previous night (3rd year in Kalkan – Novices!), and having done the obligatory wave on the Mavi webcam for the footfall counters we take the short ascent to Sofra.
It’s been off the list for a couple of years, as we had previously been disappointed, but we couldn’t find much wrong this time. Our table was ready and waiting, on the edge with the breeze and the view, where we agonised over what to eat.
Imam Bayıldı for me, because I find it irresistible, and fascinated how different it can be as you choose it in different places – with only one starter between us means the diet is assisted by some discreet sharing. Main courses are the Moussaka and Veal Liver. The first because it was the special (again?), and the second because it wasn’t lambs liver, and not in cubes. The Moussaka was enjoyed with the meat content and the spices, though it could have done with being a bit moister, but – hey – it’s nothing to get worked up about! The Liver was in slices and one of those opportunities that take you away from the ‘standard’ menu items that occur everywhere. Personally, I’m in agreement with Raymond Blanc on liver, it should be in 1cm thick steaks, but this seems a step too far for restaurants!
After a ’which way to the harbour’ discussion we get to the Pirat for a taxi back to the hotel via a well known watch shop, and thence to a few more glasses of wine with the other guests on ranges of topics that would take all night to recount here.
Tomorrow? Hardly a Dick Barton ending this – maybe we’ll have a cliffhanger in another episode?
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Day 4 – Excursions and unplanned events
Oh, you know how it goes – wake up, look out of the window, peer round the damn palm tree and there’s Mouse and Snake saying ‘here I am’! Or is that ‘here we are’? Another bloody day in Paradise!
Suffice to say, it is readily apparent that I’m no Antler. No dawn rising and cups of coffee, no meal preparations, no family to consider (here anyway), just the big decisions of the day, viz. what do we do and where are we eating tonight?
Basically the mornings are predictable, get up, get ready, have breakfast, lie down to recover. Coffee, lie down to recover. Decide where lunch is, got to lunch.
Today, that’s made – slightly – more adventurous by the presence of Jook outside. Waiting for instructions, we board and, noting that, according to the SatNav built in, there are no roads in Kalkan. There’s a D400 nearby, but, according to the incumbent electronics, you need a 4WD or tank to get there.
Fortunately we have Joanna. Really this is a TomTom with it’s windscreen mount that seems know more roads than any car manufacturers expensive devices, and more ways to get there! Fortunately for us, our approximate destination is pre-programmed via LatLong co-ordinates gleaned via Google Maps and we set off for lunch at Değirmen in Islamlar.
As usual Joanna gets us unerringly to our destination (she did this equally well over 2000 miles in Australia too – pretty smart girl!), where we find that they are actually quite busy, with 10 other people there and preparations afoot for another 12 to come (obviously an organised jaunt, for those ex-Tapestry customers). These dozen turned out to be either German/French or Dutch – difficult to tell – as they tended to change language and revert to accented English as a common fall-back. What a legacy for Empire!
Then we over-ate on Grilled Cheese, Fried Aubergine, Shepherds salad (Turkish temporarily forgotten – I’ll remember as soon as I’ve posted), and of course bread. All this before the arrival of the grilled trout, which was possibly the best trout we’ve had. We just didn’t need the Chips (mental note: skip next time – greedy pigs!). Washed down with the bottle of water, and Lykia white, we spent half the time looking out across the valley as Mouse and Snake continued their siren calling like a pair of harpies through the haze. Soon my friends, soon.
Anyway, not a bad lunch for 95TL. In fact a bloody good lunch, 95TL or not!
Joanna, directed us back safely to the hotel, where the regulatory lie down is required to recover; when our local friends arrive at drag us with arm-locks to the bar and force us to drink for the remainder of the afternoon, while we talk and catch up with all the goings on.
Being English and resident, there’s more gossip that I can mention here – my lips are sealed…!!
The recovery period having not taken place, and due to the previously mentioned appointment with Yusuf (excuse for Large beer at Zula – hic!) we at least get a lift most of the way. To relieve the boredom whilst Yusuf does his magic, I wander down to the harbour and confirm to Osman that we’ll see him on the morrow for the trip on Yildiz 2, and noting that the hill is noticeably steeper than yesterday, and go and have that beer at Zula. Which, at 6pm is deserted, but after 12 minutes someone notices I’m making the place look untidy and provides fluid refreshment. No sooner started than shared as Yusuf has done his magic.
Time not wasted at Zula as we have also booked for Samphire tonight, Husseyin makes his studious notes (after the obligatory hugs, etc) and we arrive back a couple of hours later to a grateful balcony edge table – fully appreciative of the breeze that’s present.
Needless to say the Garlic mushrooms starter, and the Swordfish Fishcakes and Ottoman Leg of Lamb were very good, and recommended. Washed down with a Majestik white (the fishcakes taking priority over the Leg of Lamb), and getting the latest updates on Husseyin’s family and so on. Dessert was Apricot Pie. Now, this was a surprise – it looks heavy and stodgy but it is really quite delightful, with the ice cream to enhance it. Apparently a family recipe handed down (who am I to dispute it?) this is another recommendation that shouldn’t turn the replete customer into Mr. Creosote (it’s lighter than a ‘wafer theen mint’).
Curious event, though. Overheard some customers arriving shortly after us, known to the Samphire staff, who arrived telling announcing that, as they had booked a specific table somewhere else (probably edge/balcony), and arrived 5 minutes late, they had been told that, as they were late, they had assumed they weren't coming and let the table go. When politely queried they denied they’d ever said such a thing. Mad, Bonkers even, I may be, but deaf – No! I respect their choice not to say, but I just wonder where it was….
Back to a much quieter than usual hotel bar (some people have no staying power!) for a nightcap and thence prepare for tomorrow…
ps The TomTom’s called Joanna, because the voice directions are Ms Lumley. Guaranteed to make you sit up and pay attention, especially when she says, “No Dahling, turn around when possible”, and “You have arrived at your destination, dahling!”.
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Oh Chris I've really enjoyed this post. You've made me laugh out loud, especially the wafer theen mint bit!
Keep 'em coming! ;D
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Yes another great post Chris_S, and so pleased that Degirmen was busy, we went in August and we were the only ones there, but what wonderful people they are. Looking forward to your next instalment :D
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Great post Chris. if it makes you feel any better my holidays are more like yours than Antler's! Lazy.com
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Not to worry.....Antler puts us all to shame. The beauty of kalkan is that you can do just exactly what you like and have a brilliant time doing it!
Your posts are great Chris......looking forward to the next one!
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Great report...slightly off topic, but why do posters have calendar icons nest to their names today?
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Another great post Chris......keep them coming. ☺☺
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Day 5 – My name is Ishmael
Well not true really, he was Osman actually, not tattooed, and it was Yildiz 2 we boarded at 0950. So there were no whales (although Moby Dick WAS spotted, but not the same one as the book). The boat was already fully occupied and we were the last, fully expecting to be early! You just can’t trust people to be late sometimes, so all the best spots were gone.
Doesn’t bother me so much, I enjoy the day at the back with the fishing line where possible, relaxing. No excitement this year, no catches – though other passengers remembered my Tuna catch last year (eaten at lunch – how’s that for freshness?).
Regulars to the boat trips don’t need the details of the days at sea, though. You know how it goes, chug-chug – stop – drink coffee. chug-chug, swim. chug-chug, Swim, Lunch. chug-chug, Mud bath. chug-chug, swim, Fruit, etc. You know the food’s good so I don’t need to detail it, do I?
Though I find Osman’s Flamingo impersonation amusing. He tends to stand on one leg sometimes and steer, or cook in the galley. The pinny in the latter case just makes it even better!
Then it got interesting as the wind had got up and crossing to Mouse was more reminiscent of The Cruel Sea. You could see Osman was re-planning the target stop, and we tried to stop in the lee of a cliff on Mouse, but Yildiz 3 was there first. After three attempts to keep station and failing due to the breeze, (cue mutinous famililial fall out on marine techniques) we came back to harbour with the tail wind whilst consuming the remaining Tea/Coffee and cakes. Fortunately thing weren’t bad enough to donate an arm or an eye on this nautical expedition, nor the even worse punishment of being called Horatio, though I suspect it would have been easier for the ladies to be renamed Emma.
Jook awaited at the harbour, and after a 15million point manoeuvre due to the tight parking we got out unscathed, albeit pointing in the wrong direction – so another 23 point turn to get out of the harbour was called for, and return to the hotel. Now to do what we keep doing:
Lie down and recover.
Anyone that‘s done a boat trip knows that a full meal in the evening is not really on the agenda, so, chickens that we are, we opted for omelettes at the hotel.. Just enough to keep the blood glucose levels ticking over, not enough to cause rampant indigestion.
All this Maritime stuff makes one weary, especially working as deck one, oar three, so it was a relative early night, for a change.
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Day 6 – And nothing really happened…
After all the Kalkan ‘must do this, must do that’ and trying to do it early, thus enabling the chill-out to progress uninterrupted, this was a day of full-blown chill-out.
As such, what can you say apart from 36C, 43% humidity (as in the Weather Station at Yesilkoy Sokak – who’s is it?) and time to crack on with the e-books on the Kindle. Having got the latest episode of the Clifton Chronicles out of the way, and now having to wait a year to satisfy the usual cliff-hanger (you know it’s going to be fine, just like Saturday Morning Pictures, when you see the car go off a cliff in flames one week, only to find the hero leapt from the vehicle at the last moment, even though they’d been unconscious 0.001 seconds before!). Now time to get started on Jack Reacher, then! The real(ish) one that is not the diminutive one in the film.
As we hadn’t been for a couple of days, Chillies for Lunch, and get the inside story on Mr Happy and family (apparently fell asleep driving back from Fethiye after work – rolled the car), and putting away the requisite Pide, Salad and Dry White, time to
Lie back and Recover.
This time by the pool, until later, when we are
Disrupted by the traditional send-off at the hotel as people leave – hugs, handshakes and emotional tears from some – you have to leave in the small hours of the night (well, any hours of the night, if truth be told) to avoid it, should you wish. Fellow guests despatched back to Albion, we prepare for our meal at Moonstone. Never been before, but five people have told us to go, so it seems churlish to ignore it – they may well be right!
So how do I approach Moonstone? Do I do it Michael Winner Style, Tom Parker Bowles or one of the regular ‘turn up for a few free meals on TV’ Masterchef critics?
You Judge:
Moonstone sits on top of Utopia. I confess it’s one we’ve traditionally kept going past in previous years, with a ‘previous booking’ elsewhere. It just didn’t appeal.
With the recommendations though, we braved the usual infinite number of steps to the roof, with the advantage that, here, they are at least consistent in rise, and are straight, so no hairpins, landings or anything. Some assistance was gratefully received by the less mobile which helped the confident passage to the top, where we are greeted by the proprietor, Mandy. It’s (apparently) the second year for Moonstone, I obviously fell prey to the previously mentioned judgement last year, and we have a nice table on the edge with the Utopia and Moonlight bars below. There are about a dozen other guests tonight. Cynically, I observe that they get their wallpaper music for free (from Moonlight), and order.
The menu is professional and heavy, and the choices range from the old favourites to some ‘that sounds interesting’ in order to tempt you into experimentation, or next time.
We start with Moonstone Prawns on a bed of Salsa (cold), and Prawns and Mushrooms (hot). My partner found the salsa a shade strong for her palate but this was a personal thing, and nothing to say was wrong, wishing she’d chosen my dish, some of which she had anyway. The Prawns and Mushrooms were very good, being generous with the two named ingredients and a good balance on the peppers, onions and spices to make it different to the many dishes containing similar ingredients.
Main courses were Ottoman Meatballs and Lamb Kavurma. She said the Meatballs were very good and would have them again. My Lamb Kavurma was also as good as I’ve had, and I realised it doesn’t seem to appear on menus as much as it did a decade ago. No doubt I’ll be looking on the dishes of 2005 like we do the dishes of the 1970s now? The Kavurma came with chips kept warm on the flame, while a mixed salad and rice were resident in small accompanying dishes, for both of us. Perhaps the Meatballs could have benefitted from the chips as well, but then again, you can overdo the chips sometimes.
Lemon cheesecake ended the meal, with two spoons. I don’t think you would describe this a cheesecake in the precise sense that perhaps Mary Berry would recognise, but it was light, tasty and, when shared, just enough.
In total, would we go again? Yes! Without doubt, I would put this as worth trying, and then you can make your own judgement (these things are so personal!). Don’t be put off by the location, or the greeter – you probably won’t be disappointed, by the food or the price. I would like to see it survive in preference to one or two other unnamed establishments in town!
[Some of you may remember a few posts on EK and KTLN in the spring looking for a season rental – that was Mandy].
At least it’s a flat walk to the taksi rank to get back to the hotel, where the days lethargy gallops up on us and beats us round the head. We succumb after a single drink, ready for the next exciting instalment ….. ZZZZZ
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Sounds as though you are enjoying a thoroughly relaxing first few days. I find that we always end up trying at least one new restaurant on each visit and, as you say, it really does come down to personal taste. Keep up the good work.
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Really enjoying your blog, Chris_S - they are certainly descriptive.
We also went to Moonstone this year - first for us too. Although we didn't go on recommendation...quite conversely we went BECAUSE of the greeter. We passed him most evenings and headed into Moonlight and he did his best to divert us up those stairs. However he was always polite and looked a bit crestfallen when we told him we were eating elsewhere. After almost three weeks of "eating elsewhere" we told him "tonight's the night" (apologies to Rod Stewart). Really enjoyed our meal and our shared desert was an ice cream cocktail which perhaps I had more of than BH (just a smidge) Pretty sure it was Bluestone Special?
Anyway, its very much under the radar this little place - hope it goes from strength to strength.
Looking forward to tomorrow's instalment :)
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Day 7 – More new places, more old places
Morning spent in the
Lie down and Recover
posture, as things warm up, drinks are consumed, books are read, drinks are consumed, the news updated and drinks are consumed before we venture forth for lunch, to consume, among other things, drinks. Hydration is important.
Which, as Jook is still poised ready for action to propel us into the great unknown, on expeditions Bear Grylls would reconsider and abandon, is up the Kalamar Road to Yelken Bistro.
Regular readers may remember our good friend Antler visiting this on his visit, and as he’s rarely wrong (or is that never?) we just have to check it out for lunch.
It’s nice! Cheeseburgers and dry white fitted the bill, and are what they are reputed to be, enhanced by the good service, nice surroundings, a heavyweight menu and better than some similar establishments’ view. The Kalamar road on the doorstep doesn’t detract, after all, it’s not the M25 (or M3/M6/M60/M90 depending on where you live). I can see another lunch on the horizon there, if time permits. Recommended.
Then back to the pool to
Lie down and recover.
This evening, it’s Mussakka, in it’s new location (could we call this a pop-up?), with some irony here.
The New Mussakka (which is beginning to sound like a Jamie Oliver recipe) was busy. And some. We had reserved a table, which came out to be a ‘good decision’. Mind you we tend not to turn up on spec for meals anyway – having made a decision, we tend to stick to the plan – and there were what seemed to be between 10-20 people waiting for tables. Absolutely perfectly, out reserved table was waiting for us, a party of a dozen or so (big ‘or so’) were obviously celebrating something (Birthday?) given away by the Mussakka balloons on the chairs.
Decisions, decisions – this came down to Sea Bream fish cakes (shared, just for a change…) for starter; Sea Bass with Shrimps and Lamb Chops fulfilled the Main portion of the meal. All I can say is the fish cakes were excellent, the Sea Bass was described as the nicest Sea Bass fillets they’d had, and my Lamb chops were cooked to perfection, moist, just pink and tasty. The shared dessert was a Strawberry Borek which was just right to finish.
Oh, it was a birthday, as evidenced by the fireworks, music and cake.
So far this year, if Carlsberg were to do restaurants, it would be here.
The irony, well, you may remember Husseyin at Samphire, well, his two sons work at Mussakka, and if you know Husseyin by sight, you would know who his sons were. No doubtful paternity there! The irony is, of course, that Husseyin used to have Pisces next door to where Mussakka is now…
I would prefer to skip over the next bit as my wallet is suffering from the effects of a visit to Infinity – I may well have to offer myself to the workhouse on my return to the UK!
This was softened by some heavy duty imbibing at Merkez where we don’t count the BSG bags leaving the shop, but wonder at the ability of one young woman to negotiate the hill, not just in an extremely short skirt, but vertiginous 3 inch heels. The impetuosity of youth!
Thence the taxi back, via the taxi rank which resembles Fred Karno’s Circus, in typical Turkish/Kalkan fashion. Nobody knew who was next in the queue, and that was the taxis and the customers. Full credit to the couple who were offered a cab, and pointed out that we were in front of them. If you’re reading this, thank you – you are a true gent!!!
A swift nightcap (or two) at the hotel bar – Hydration is important – and we retire to prepare for another day in Paradise.
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Hi Chris_S , Fab reports. Have just spent a very pleasant 20 minutes or so reading all about your first week. To try and really absorb myself in the Kalkan atmosphere I've been sipping a glass of wine whilst reading, but with heavy showers and sounding and feeling like my conservatory is going to take off in the strong winds all I can say is "wish I was there!"
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Husseyin is closely related to Memet at Mussakka and the old Pisces is actually the far half of Mussakka. That's why his sons work there.
We love Mussakka and Pisces used to be our favourite place to eat fish. Husseyin is such a gentleman.
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Huseiyn and Mehmet are brothers. One of Huseiyn's sons worked with him in Picses.
Is Huseiyn still in Sampfire with Sedat?
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Your posts certainly brighten up a very miserable, windy and wet morning Chris.......I'm not in the slightest bit jealous! ::)
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Husseyin is at Samphire - see earlier report!
I did know they were brothers, but I like to give you something to talk about >:D
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Day 8 – Low Cloud over Mount Doom
One of those days when you look out of the window, and wonder where you are. Can’t be Kalkan – no blue sky. Clouds.
No chance of seeing the flag on the mountain, in fact you can’t see the top at all, but we've seen it before, it just depends on fate whether it rains or not.
Optimistically, we settle down and practice the
Lie Down and Recover
position in readiness for meteorological improvements, and find that it’s very tolerable and concentrate on getting on with the books Jack Reacher now done for till next year, maybe some Frederick Forsyth?
As Jook is idle at the moment, and we haven’t used it as much as planned, we decide to escape the pseudo English summer, and dash off to Adem’s for lunch. Where we have a boringly predictable Menemem and chips – Diet chips of course, the ones that help you lose weight(!) – The daughters are back at school, so the staffing levels are down. This means either less lounging for Adem while they used to serve tables or rushing around a bit more. Adem chooses the latter. At least the weather is better down there, away from the mountain, and it’s very nice with the odd fluffy white thing in the sky. The Americans on an adjacent table seem to dawdle even more than us. Maybe they have farther to go?
Just shows that you don’t have to go far to escape a micro-climate.
Back at the Hotel, the driving over, one of us can now have a drink
Rehydration is Important
And we
Lie down and Recover
Until another departure of guests with the hand wringing hugs, but less tears – this mob’s made of sterner stuff! Promises are made to read this blog/account (you know who you are – say something!), and we prepare for our evening. This is Smyrna, a first visit, there’s been some positive comments on EK, time to find out for ourselves.
At least the stairs aren't overly arduous! Nice table on the edge, bit of a breeze, humidity down a bit and turning into just comfortable. Tables nicely spaced – not bunched together so you can listen into adjacent conversations, but close enough to get between for serving without absurdly reaching over customers.
Imam Bayıldı for me, which I find slightly irresistible, Rami asks whether I’m vegetarian? No – I just like it! (Rami explodes in laughter.) It’s also a bit like Italian Pasta Sauces, every Turkish Mother has her recipe, which of course, is the best and original! I also find it’s a pretty good guide of what to expect later. In fact it’s nice – not a spicy as some, but worth an honourable mention. It goes without saying that I was not permitted to eat the whole thing. Some people’s assistance with dieting is remarkable!
Meat Kavurma and Stuffed Beef for Mains – thus proving I am not a vegetarian! (More explosive laughter from Rami.) A true omnivore, in fact. After saying Kavurma’s don’t appear on menus as much – there’s another one. Larger dices of meat here, which was commented on and made it more wholesome.. The Stuffed Beef? This is in a Roquefort sauce and when I’d finished I’m not sure what was more stuffed. It was very nice and the sort of thing I would recommend if you wanted a change from the more repetitious items on menus in Kalkan. Point of Note: many, if not most of the dishes at Smyrna come with Rice only (the Stuffed Beef came with mash), this is not my favourite vegetable accompaniment, being almost of the ‘rice belongs in a pudding’ mentality. Rice does work sometimes (Rice does wok sometimes?), but not with everything, If rice is not your thing, you may have issues.
Feeling, as mentioned, stuffed, we foolishly decide to explore the dessert menu. Purely in the interests of you, the reader, you understand, to report back the full picture.
Crème Caramel looked to fit the bill, light and manageable.
Wrong!
I know what you’re thinking – inverted cup shaped dome in the middle of a dessert plate, with the caramel running down the sides? Well that was at one end of a foot long plate with a large scoop of vanilla ice cream, sliced banana, two slices of orange, and sliced apple, with caramel sauce trickled over the whole. One time we really SHOULD have done the ‘one dessert, two spoons’ thing.
It was excellent, and your researchers can proudly say that they completed the task and did not need to be winched down from the roof. Though the caffeine from the coffee may well have softened the impact somewhat.
Worth visiting, but you have been warned! Oh, and the street light over your head turning itself on and off all evening is bloody annoying!
While on the subject of annoying, does anyone else think that the Hotel Pirat illuminated name is also annoying – with the 256 different ways of turning the individual letters on and off as if it was done on a 1978 Commodore VIC20 or 64? Maybe it was just programmed by a 12 year old on their Raspberry Pi as a school project and thought it was ‘cool’! (or whatever passes for ‘cool’ in Turkish).
Back via Infinity to collect the bankruptcy inducing purchase of the night before; with a few gratuitous glasses of wine and the expected exhortations to use the proceeds of Brinksmat on some of the stuff similar to the Hatton Garden Job as a sales exercise. Not really expecting to sell, this was really a softening up job for next year…
The little yellow vehicles took on the wide loads with impunity and returned us to the hotel to imbibe a few drinks before retiring at a reasonable 1am. Thus a degree of gastronomic comfort had returned without the resort of Messrs Alka and Seltzer. Not before flashing off the purchase to the other guests of course. The drinks are essential to avoid shock, and, of course
Hydration is important
Now, dear, about that TAG-Heuer Carrera Calibre 1887 they've got in the jeweller’s……
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Loving your reports. You're having my sort of holiday. :)
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Great report, Chrie1 You are most definitely NOT a lightweight!!
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Sorry - should have read "Chris_S!"
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Day 9 – An Everyday Tale of Country Folk – just not from here…
As has been previously indicated, dawn doesn’t really come into things unless under duress. The honourable exception was hot air ballooning in Tanzania – but that’s another story.
SO, it was a tardy breakfast, a tardy
Lie Down and Recover
practice session, with Kindles in full swing, and much miscellaneous gossip. The new arrivals are making their presence felt. As these are basically the same people every year, you start to notice a pattern.
Last week it sometimes felt as if you were intruding into the Palace of Holyrood, especially when the two teams were either side of you (in the bar) were discussing whatever in their usual Celtic fashion. Totally alien to anyone south of Hadrian’s Wall, with more strange words than a teenager’s cryptic txtspk. The only saving grace was that Sturgeon woman wasn’t there. Or the other one, Salmond. God is on your side, sometimes.
This week it seems to be the turn of the PLF. Not Palestine Liberation Front, but the Profoundly Lancashire Faction. Nothing south of Chester seems to get mentioned, and the Eastern boundary seems to be the hilly bit to that other county, but that’s vague. Oh! What’s it called? Anyway the Western Boundary is the Irish Sea, and the Northern bit, probably the Lakes, or somewhere such like.
Fascinating discussions, which if reported here would be as alien to most of you as they are to me, though I’ve actually heard of some of the places, though never been to them. The descriptions and comments though are straight out of satire, with some totally non-politically correct observations thrown in. I sometimes wonder if Richard Littlejohn would find material here, and never dare to print it!
As Jook goes back tomorrow, it’s Yelken Bistro again, for the Cheeseburger. I could get addicted here, though I suspect the common sense would kick in eventually if I stayed here for too long! Our friend Jo spots us here, Zilli seems to remember us (though she has a massive sulk on for some reason, just to prove dogs can sulk), and we finalise the plans for the morrow. (No, I didn’t forget you, Colin, I couldn’t wend you into the narrative – but I have now, haven’t I?) For what that is, you’ll just have to hum the Dick Barton theme , and wait …
And back to the pool to
Lie Down and Recover
(I’m wondering if I should flog some tee-shirts with that on, in the style of ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’)
This doesn’t last long as we have to stroll down Bougainvillea Boulevard before too long, in order to see Yusuf (Wella). I note, belatedly, the Olive trees have a good crop again this year, and I was once told they only crop on alternate years. Now who is right there, or am I observing the ones that didn’t crop last year?
At least Wella creates the opportunity to have an Efes:
Hydration is important
and a chat to Husseyin opposite, before those little yellow things near Pirat (irritating lights fortunately inoperative in the day) back to the hotel.
Marina for a meal – prime seat with a bit of a breeze, and a chance to watch, wonder and stare incredulously at people, their behaviour and attire. This must be a prime spot for a webcam. TC, are you reading?
Calamari for a starter – this is a pre-emptive share for a change, not an ‘I’ll just have a bit’ from the opposite side of the table after ordering. This turns out to be a) a wise choice; and b) pretty good Calamari. The former because the portion could well damage your appetite, and the latter because it’s in second place behind the best Calamari we’ve ever had (and trust me – we’ve had some Calamari!). The best was at the Diana Restaurant in Zygi, Southern Cyprus. Consistently. With Diet Chips. Now you know.
Sea Bass was to follow, very nice, nothing to fault it; and Steak with Porcini Mushrooms also very nice – cooked properly (within limits), though I’m not totally convinced the mushrooms were porcini. The Red wine sauce was OK, though, I prefer my own personal one, which follows Michel Roux Jr’s advice/recipe.
Name Dropping, Moi?
Crème Brulèe to finish which was just a shade too custardy, but completed the meal satisfactorily.
Hand to Hand fighting now at the Pirat taxi rank (I jest) for one of those little yellow things to move us back to the hotel bar. This for the requisite beverages for the night, because
Hydration is Important
and somnambulism sets in around 1245am. Yawn.
Cue: Dick Barton Theme…
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Day 10 – England Expects that every man shall do his duty, sort of…
(Dick Barton Theme fades, to an anti-climax!)
Early breakfast. I say early, which means 45 minutes early. Still well after Antler get-up time, but before the more lethargic or soporific Kalkan visitor.
We are booked on another boat trip, this time on the Therapy Boat, and it’s departing at 0930. Regular mariners will realise that this is a bit before the standard departure of 10am, whether to get more in the day, or pinch the best spots ahead of the others is difficult to determine. We are lucky in that the other guests, totalling 11 are embarked on time and we can leave the remainder of the flotilla in our wake. Take That, you Puny little Armada! (said like John Cleese on the battlements in ‘Holy Grail’ )
Jo (see yesterday) has arranged this with friends, etc., so most of the day is convivial chat and backchat which need not bother you, dear reader. It flows more or less uninterrupted, except for those occasions when the passengers re-enact the Titanic sinking, or one of the North Atlantic Convoys in 1942. Except the water’s a lot warmer this time. As I’m one of those people that can’t see the fascination in intruding into a fish’s home and splashing around (how would you like it if a fish came into your home and started flapping around?) , I stay on the dry bit, and do my bit for global warming by absorbing some of that harmful UV.
This is repeated at Mouse (count the goats – are they asleep on their feet, as they don’t seem to move) and several times around the standard route, interspersed with the usual force feeding of delicious comestibles, fluids and things. It’s the threat of the beatings and potential keelhauling if we don’t eat most of this food that everyone reluctantly and discreetly nibbles away at the offerings, in order not to offend.
If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.
At one point, the Captain suddenly takes a running leap over the side into the wild tumultuous ocean. I wonder if there is a list, causing the Captain to abandon ship without saying anything, reminiscent of the Costa Concordia. The only list I can determine is the do’s and don’ts on the bulkhead. I decide that all is still well and concentrate on Hydration. It is Important.
As it’s a rather warm day with the humidity up around 66%, we’re rather glad we’re out here on the briny, living up to the arduous British Naval Heroes who endured insufferable conditions in almost as bad circumstances as us. I’m thinking of Raleigh, Drake, Nelson, Hood and Richard Branson.
(For an abridged description of a similar trip, see Day 3)
Being first away, doesn’t mean first back, but some others are moored up, but Therapy Boats Pitch is a vacant as you can get. No boats either side for at least 50 metres (call it yards if you’re over 35), which makes reversing simpler than squeezing between other vessels. In fact, I expect the female blonde driver beloved of stand-up comedians could probably reverse the vessel in without incident. I have to confess, I’ve never actually met a stereotypical blonde driver. This is totally true, whether or not my wife reads this or not!
After all the tribulations, floggings, and plank-walking, us mutinous dogs make our way to a local hostelry for refreshments, because
Hydration is Important
and secrete ourselves (!) away in Fener for an eclectic collection of beverages to complete the voyage. Checking the bottom of our glasses to ensure there is no shilling lurking there, we avoid the perils of the Press Gangs and return to our hovels to fight another day.
As usual, you find that doing absolutely s*d-all for the day and with an energy input/output balance beyond any measurable recognition, we decide that we, again, can’t really be bothered by visually inspecting Bougainvillea Boulevard by torchlight, and opt for Moussaka and Lamb Chops at the hotel. Down by the bar. Anyone who has identified this location will realise that this is nicer than the decking. ‘Nuff said. Rating? More than good enough, better than some I‘ve had in town, and a small return to them for their hospitality.
An early night, midnight, is called for after the perils of the open ocean and patrolling the Turkish approaches on behalf of the EU.
No animals were harmed or refugees were spotted in the production of this report.
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Enjoying the reports. Thanks for taking the time.
Yes those lamb chops are delicious and yes we prefer the bar area to "the decking" Only wish we was out there at the moment.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday,
BarbH
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Day 11 – Return to Mount Doom
After the culinary and liquid excesses of yesterday, we find ourselves relatively alert and ready to go, and take the start of the day in unexciting, boring and set the wheels in motion to have nothing whatsoever to write about.
Distrurbed only by a 10am departure (see: hugs, kisses, tears on previous departures), the Kindles are subconsciously calling via the invisible Bluetooth system that they seem to possess. That together with the absurd meteorological conditions of 30C and 70% humidity this wonderful morning, we debate whether this is the conditions for the spinners, or whether the humidity will encourage some swing. As the nearest cricket pitch is in Corfu, this is a moot point and lasts about 12 seconds before we just look up at the cloud capped mountains, remind ourselves that this isn’t Mordor, and pray that rain doesn’t stop play.
Which, by the time we get to lunch, and noting the cloud cover is building, we do the daylight olive-counting check on Bougainville Boulevard and dine á la Chillies. Where the Pide and salad is just sufficient after the previous days excesses. Still looking at the cloud topped mountain, feeling the high humidity, and wondering if we’ll get to departure in 4 days time without any rain, we chat about Mr Happy’s replacement/stand-in/alter-ego. Seems he’s a qualified teacher, but with 2300 qualified teachers available, and only 300 places to be filled, there’s no job. Sounds like the ‘What do you say to someone with a Masters degree in Advanced Mathematics’ joke. (Answer: ‘Two Big Macs and fries, please’).
Afternoon’s a lazy day doing the
Lie down and Recover
method of holiday participation, distracted by pleas of help to get a market purchased pair of Dre headphones (that’s what they were labelled) to Bluetooth pair to a smartphone. Easy-Peasy. Regardless of the instructions written by a dyslexic Chinese 7 year old, and translated by Google translate before final corruption by a back street printer in a suburb of Shanghai. That’s just to get the promise of a drink later!
Grateful that the smartphone in question didn’t have any logos of half-eaten fruit on it, nor anything beginning with the letter ‘i’, the task was fulfilled to the client’s satisfaction.
Back to the
Lie Down and recover
position to catch up, belatedly, with last Sundays ‘Archers Omnibus’. God, I can be so sad sometimes…
More tearful departures – this is turning into one of those 40s war films as the ground crew wave off the bomber crews with the WAAFs shedding tears and sobbing into utility handkerchiefs, wondering if they’ll ever come back…
Now it’s time for the evening’s entertainment.
Which is, courtesy of Jo, a belated birthday celebration. A bit Lizilu, this – mine was in April! Jo couldn't make it to the UK for the proper celebration, so it was a Part 2; commencing with a feeble attempt to dent The Fountain’s resources on fluids, we decamped to Gourmet for the important bit of ensuring that we don’t run out of energy. (In Kalkan, are you kidding?)
Imam Bayıldı for me (predictable as ever), which curiously was cold. This was a novelty, and raised with the staff, who said I could have it hot or cold. Funny they never asked when I ordered it. Nice, and as usual, same but different.
Sea Bass en papillote and Jameson’s Steak, next up. The Sea Bass was given the seal of approval, meeting the appetite as required; and the Jameson’s Steak was tender, tasty and, really worth having again. Now, I may have missed something here in the explanation, but judging by it’s appearance, and the description, it seems that it’s marinaded for 3 hours in Jameson’s. If it sees any heat, it’s minimal to warm it through – there being no evidence of caramelisation on the outside. This is liberally coated with crispy onions, possibly to camouflage the marinaded appearance. End result is around Medium/Medium Rare.
Lemon Sorbet and Ice Cream to finish, with an expected ‘Happy Birthday’ music and fireworks as a prelude. Nice, and not quite enough to embarrass. I have absolutely no idea what the cocktail with the sparklers around it which arrived at the same time was – but it was drinkable!
I think I can assume that the One hundred and Eleventy-One birthday is now over….
Back to the hotel bar to socialise and have a few drinks, because
Hydration is Important
And eventually, everyone realises the coach has turned into a pumpkin over an hour ago and retire.
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Happy belated one hundred and eleventy one birthday! Sounds like it was worth the wait. A girl/boy can never have enough birthday celebrations! ;) :-*
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Day 12 – It’s Life Jim, but Not as We know it…
But in Kalkan, exactly as you know it.
You can imagine, can you not, what observers from far off worlds across the Universe, would make of things if they bothered to observe activity in Kalkan?
(Cue: “Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft” by Karen Carpenter, or Richard Burton narrating Jeff Wayne’s “War of the Worlds”)
They would see one half rushing around like banshees doing what they have to do in their vans, cars and on their scooters; while there’s all these other people who move imperceptibly from one recumbent position to another, in a desperate attempt to get their money’s worth of relaxation they’ve been saving up for all year.
Today was more the latter than the former.
Suffice to say, Frederick Forsyth took a bashing on the Kindle, until it started begging to be fed with electricity; the bar took a small dent with fluids, because
Hydration is Important
And Chillies got completely thrown when we ordered something different for lunch and passed on the Balloon bread.
Cheese and Mushroom Omelette (not me) and what’s listed as Salade Niçoise, but is instead, referred to internally, as a Tuna Salad. You can tell I’m trying to do my bit for healthy eating, or at least take back to the UK as many memories of what fruit and vegetables should taste like when they’ve not been bred for high cropping and forced in heated polytunnels in Almeria, or flown halfway round the world.
The bottle of Majestik White is, unfortunately, predictable, but slightly indulgent. When we get back this will probably be replaced by the default Chateau Yorkshire Teabag 2015, at least until the weekend,,,
Humidity is around 70% today and rumours of rain on Sunday or Monday, depending on who you talk to, and how miserably inclined they are. Perhaps we shall escape it completely, inshallah. However, you will no doubt understand how oppressive high humidity is, though you have to have experience Singapore’s 99% humidity to find out how completely sapping it can be. (And indulge in a bit of name dropping!)
So, tonight we revisit Samphire. You can tell the end of the sojourn a la Kalkan is looming, when you go back to places to get them in before the delights of Dalaman Airport and (depending on airline) dubious Red Cross Food Parcels/Sandwiches from the café of your choice/ incandescent rage at the price a budget airline wants for something you could do for 70p.
Sedat welcomes us, Husseyin welcomes us, in fact, we’re too well known here. Only Husseyin Junior No2, who has been transferred from Mussakka to Samphire fails to recognise us. This is excusable; and no mention is made of the transfer fee for a star player. Was it more than some unpronounceable name from an unknown country moving from Chelsea to Real Madrid? We shall, probably never know.
Following previous themes, we share the starter. This is Calamari (again!). This now usurps Marina in the No2 spot, being perfectly al dente, categorically not chewy, and rarely, still moist and flavourful. Bloody Good.
Mains are Samphire Mousakka and Calves Liver. Now, I make no apologies for liking Offal (studiously avoiding Dick Emery:” You are offal, but I like you!”), so I grab it when I can. This was simple, properly cooked (not like a Timpsons re-sole job) and with the caramelised onions and mash, hit the spot. The Mousakka was moist, sumptuous, and if you can apply such an adjective to Mousakka, Posh. Think Nigella meets Michel Roux.
Under extreme sales pressure from Husseyin Junior No2, we are exhorted to try the Lemon Cheesecake, and not wishing to offend, in case this 10 year-old get his mates to ‘do us over’ in a secluded Kalkan back street, we demolish this with the aid of two dessert spoons. Once again, light, and doesn’t lie heavy…
This is au revoir till next year, or bump into each other on the street, or something; and a fortunately, downhill, stroll to Pirat for a taxi. Short pause on way for Oscar window shopping, and thence to the Hotel.
Where, inevitably, some regulars are making the most of their last night, and, well, you can imagine the rest.
Can’t You?
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Day 13 – Fifty Shades of Grey
Which is what we saw when we look up today.
Not an encouraging, or cheer-inducing prospect, it’s looking like the Sunday/Monday rain has been brought forward to screw up people’s weekend.
Bit like the UK really. In more ways than one. The Mountains are cloaked, you can see the dark grey clouds rolling in from the South, but being hardy Brits, we pretend this is normal (well isn’t it – for 50 weeks of the year?), and carry on laying our pitches out on the sunbeds.
Until about 1130 when the ominous spots start to patter down. Some sunbeds are abandoned, others are poised ready to, in the vernacular of Sarf Lunnon, leg it. Some, of course are of the optimistic persuasion and ignore it, probably having sacrificed some poor beast at dawn in order to placate the gods.
Fortunately, it holds off, and can’t be described as rain, minimal precipitation would be overstating it, a few spots understating it.
Just for the sheer hell of having a change we de-camp to Moonlight Pension for Lunch. This catches them a bit off-guard, and someone has to be fetched that can speak the lingua franca of the Empire, and we get our drinks and order a Tuna Salad and an un-Turkish Egg and Chips. Amazing what UK-type weather does to the gastronomic parts of the brain!
There is quite a delay. If this was the conventional one hour lunch break in the Uk, we would have lost our jobs on returning. Just as well, we’re retired, then!
But it’s nice, the eggs are runny, and we all know what the chips are like, so a win-win, there. The Tuna Salad had a LOT of Tuna, with what back home would be described as ‘Mixed Leaves’ but was, really quite tasty. The UK equivalent often seems to be the washed contents of the garden trug after weeding, but maybe that’s a bit extreme! Odd, though, there was no tomato or Cucumber. This must be a first for a Kalkan Salad! With three beers: 60TL.
And Yes, the spitting rain did intrude, though not enough to spoil the food, but afterwards we changed tables to finish the drinks. Can’t have the Efes being watered down, can we?
Time to check out the sunbeds until the next batch of departures to Dalaman, with the usual consequences (see previous reports).
No time to return to the sunbeds, as we have to be at Yusuf’s for the pre-arranged hair-flouncing, and finding that Zula’s couches have been replaced by tables and chairs! Must be a Saturday thing. Samphire’s Daniel Ricciardo look-alike keeps us entertained while the Efes mysteriously evaporates. This is worrying, as
Hydration is important
but fortunately, there is sufficient remaining fluid to keep body and soul together.
Which just leaves enough time to get back and get ready for Mussakka, tonight…
Which strangely, at 9pm, didn’t have the couches full of waiting customers. Our table, was, as usual for Mussakka (some other establishments take note), ready.
The order was quite easy, the not unusual offal starter for me, with Leg of Lamb, and Lamb Chops on the opposite side of the table.
My Liver swiftly arrived, before the wine, and then the gratis bread, olives and dips arrived. The Liver was nicely cooked and up to par, and no sooner had I finished this than it was whisked away with the Olives, Bread, etc. I wonder what they were like?
Some wine was poured, and very soon after, the main courses. The Lamb Chops were reported as being perfect (like mine previously), and my Lamb Shank (for that is what it was) had either been a VERY young Lamb or possibly a hamster before taking up its final career. I certainly have had larger turkey legs. This left me struggling to eat what was there slowly enough, and with a smear of mash in order to keep pace with the consumption of Lamb Chops on the other side. No matter how slowly I ate, I was still done 35 minutes after arriving, with numerous empty tables and nobody waiting.
Representations were made and we got the following:
• People had complained the portions were too big;
• You can have free dessert.
Oh, and nobody asked if everything was OK, nor did they pour any wine for us. This is not Kalkan as we know it, so perhaps I shouldn’t have used that title earlier in this holiday! Nobody asked if I wanted a small portion, especially as I don’t look like an 8-year-old, nor a size zero model (quite).
Ehmet (?) was apologetic and added free liqueurs to the bill, so recompense was made, but it was oh, so, disappointing, when we know that Mussakka can do it if they try – and they weren’t as busy as previously – no queues, no big party tables.
As far as we could tell, and this doesn’t excuse the child’s portion Lamb Shank, half the issues come from a certain short, wide waiter who rushes around, impolitely reaches across tables and embodies, the ‘more haste, less speed’ epithet. He generally gives the impression he’s busy but he’s not doing the job half as good as anyone else we’ve seen in Kalkan. While he’s rushing around doing s*d-all, Ehmet is having to clear tables! A seeming lack of timing and co-ordination was apparent; trying to look after the whole place, instead of just having a section to deal with, doesn’t work!
Or maybe an unpronounceable Turkish football team was on TV later. Who knows?
You may or may not agree with these observations, but I can only report what I appear to see. If you have been to Mussakka, you know who I mean.
Shame, but not unsolvable.
A quick visit into a certain three-lettered bag shop (no prizes), where I got off lightly compared to the past, and back to the hotel via the little yellow things from the taxi rank.
Where the conversation, flowed, the drinks flowed,
(Hydration is Important)
and eventually, we flowed to bed just after 1am.
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Chris, we had a similar problem in mussakka earlier this year we felt as if they couldn't wait to get rid of us! It was all rush rush rush.......sadly made us decide not to return later in our holiday!
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Hi Chris...thank you for sharing your holiday with the forum. I was disappointed with your Mussakka experience........ I can only say that we had a completely different level of service on our last night in Kalkan and didn't feel at all rushed.
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sounds like an off-night in Mussakka.....oh dear. At least you brought it to Mehmet's attention and gave him the opportunity to recompense you - I would say this is untypical and to be honest we are always stuffed when we eat there. Usually avoid starters and sides as we have been overwhelmed by the amount of food in the past. BH has been known to ask the waiter to leave the bread on the table if they come to whisk it away early - it's never a problem.
No excuse though for not keeping your wine glasses topped....do they not know hydration is important..?
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What a shame your experience wasn't as good as usual. How disappointing for you. :( We've found in the past that if we have had cause to point out a problem in a restaurant (not particularly Mussakka) that the waiters don't always seem to know how to handle it. It's happened an odd time and met with a shrug of the shoulders, a smile or an "I'm sorry" but no action on how to resolve the problem. It's as though the young lads serving, are not trained in customer service ??? Glad you managed to discuss it with Mehmet who listened to you and then did something about it. Hopefully just a one off! :)
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I don't want to be Mussakka- bashing but I have to say that we had a similar experience at the end of May. Having placed our order, we then waited an hour and a quarter to be served. It was one of those frustrating occasions when we just seemed unable to catch the eye of anyone, although we did manage at one point to enquire about the whereabouts of our meal. We had only ordered a main course! Admittedly, it had been rather busy when we arrived but had emptied out considerably when we finally received our meal. When it arrived there was no apology for the delay until I rather sniffily requested it. We were given a free round of drinks to compensate although by now we had rather had our fill of alcohol while waiting for the meal and had had somehow gone "past it." We were so disappointed as it was always our favourite restaurant when down by the harbour but decided to give it another go when we returned in July. This is Mussakka, after all! I have to say that, while service was much quicker, it's just lost a little something for me and I'm not sure we will return during our next visit in a few weeks. Having said all that, I'm glad they are doing well following their relocation and have risen phoenix-like from the ashes, as it were.
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I have to say that I've only been there once back in 2012 and was sufficiently unimpressed and have therefore never returned... The food was good but the service was inadequate compared to the other places we visited (and have subsequently visited)! I felt at the time that they rested on their 'Laurels' a little too much.
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Day 14 – And The Gods Cried
Well, they seemed quite happy at breakfast, then they went a bit gloomy, and E L James on us (as before) until Thor started hurling the thunderbolts around, and a swift retreat under cover was called for.
This, of course, meant a re-appraisal of the days plans.
These were partly allocated, and weather would have no bearing, but others activities were less certain.
The upshot was a cop-out by having lunch in the hotel. This was preferable to white water rafting down Bougainvillea Boulevard to Dyonisia or Chillies, (or if a good flow was achieved, Indigo). It was reminiscent of 9 September 2011, when we last had such precipitation (see You Tube “It Rains in Kalkan”).
With such variable weather it was as well that the afternoon between 1500-1700 was devoted to Formula 1 (Singapore GP) at Bread & More.
Where I was the only customer! I always said I was a bit odd, and it felt like it – especially with people coming in to ask if the Rugby was on. As I get an acute pain in the knees whenever it gets mentioned, I’ll skip over that aspect. Listening to the commentary was rather like watching TV dramas these days, where you have to try to discern the words with the background ‘dramatic’ music. In this case indeterminable wallpaper muzak from the other end of the bar. As there were no customers this was odd, and intrusive. It was bad enough with the traffic on Kalamar Road (do you realise it’s louder than a F1 Car?), just as well I understand what I’m watching then…
No sooner had that ended, when the heavens opened again. This getting slightly tedious, I thought. Fortunately prepared, in true English style, I had a collapsible umbrella with me. I probably looked the epitome of the English holidaymaker abroad walking down the road with an umbrella! At least it WAS raining.
The departures from the Hotel get smaller at each event, and so it was today with two leaving, seen off by six guests. There’ll be nobody left when we leave. Or rather there will be nobody left that knows us when we leave…
Jo’s for evening drinks on the apartment balcony in Kalamar. Antler would enthuse over the view here, across the bay. I could see him, coffee in hand in the dawn’s early light. Instead we had the fading rays of twilight, followed by distant lightning somewhere over Dalaman, or farther, difficult to tell. Very nice hour or so with the wine, cocktails, nibbles and conversation. Civilised. Very. Thanks Jo and Colin.
Alternatif for the evening, at a pace opposite to the night before – more in keeping with Kalkan’s pace of life. Mustafa making a fuss of us, after the previous table debacle. He had been at the ‘bus station’ for an engagement party, so now you know what the fireworks were for.
Mousakka and Serenissima Steak were the order of the day, the starter’s are omitted, having been covered by the drinks earlier. Up to the usual standards, though they were out of Crème Caramel, and Mustafa sent out scouting parties to find some, to no avail. Lemon Cheesecake it was then, before making our adieus and doing the usual end of evening, Pirat – Taxi – Hotel – Bar – Drink
(Hydration is important)
and more convivial storytelling and conversation. Until the Land of Nod appears on the horizon and we succumb, gently.
[Apologies for the late posting :angel:]
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Day 15 – Is That It?
You know the feeling, when you realise that those 14 days you’ve been looking forward to for the last 351 days is finally here.
You want to do so much, you want to repeat things, you want to revisit people, places, activities.
But you can’t – there’s just not enough time, hours in the remaining day, to do any of those things and still prepare for the expedition that is called ‘going home’.
We are partially fortunate that we aren’t in the situation (as anyone who has done a package trip to Spain would know) of vacating the room by 10am, when your flight leaves at midnight (or some such). In our case, pick up at 1730, vacate by 1645. Workable.
Post Breakfast, it’s what we call the packing, Phase 1. Everything not needed for the remainder of the day is found a home in the bags. Some degree of order, but it’s not like you’re going to be wearing any of this when you get back to Blighty, is it? Most of it is heading for the Washing Machine within hours of arrival.
Phase 1 completed, there’s time (deliberately planned) for a couple of hours or so to get the last rays of sunshine for 2015 – got to get that Vitamin D topped up, and
Lie Down and Recover
– before a slightly later lunch at Chillies.
Now, anyone doing this return trip realises there are awfully big gaps in the 12 hour door-door journey, sustenance-wise, you get something or nothing on the flight (dependent on how budget your airline is); Dalaman food is slightly more expensive than Le Manoir au Quat’Saisons, and at exactly the opposite end of the culinary scale. There’s always the packed lunch approach, but this is more suited to SqueezyJet and Thomas Crook type flights.
The alternative, for us, is to go for something that keeps body and soul together for the best part of that time. Generally referred to as The English Breakfast. (Or The American Breakfast, or the Irish Breakfast, or the …)
So Chillies English Breakfast it was, and for 19TL, enough Pork based products to give authenticity, this will last us until 35,000 feet over ‘somewhere in Europe’; though the copious White Wine was not something you would normally take with it in your local greasy spoon – but then Kalkan isn’t your local greasy spoon.
At least the weather was a stark contrast to the previous couple of days, blue skies, fluffy white bits (clouds – keep focussed!) and more than acceptable temperatures – just enough to give the senses a shock on return to the mid-shires.
Dawdling in Chillies just sufficiently to time the return to the hotel to complete the packing (Phase 2), ablutions and numerous checks to ensure that the stash of Krugerrands, diamonds and €500 notes hadn’t been left behind (as if!), That goes, more or less, according to plan. (We’ll ignore the cleaners hovering around, glowering like broody harpies because they want us to disappear so they can prepare for the next occupants, and we’re eating into their window of opportunity.) Bill paid, and with 45 minutes remaining, there is, time to sit at the bar and soak up the last waves of atmosphere over a couple of glasses of Red that amazingly have survived in the bottle with our room number on, for this very purpose. How’s that for accurate planning?
Transfer arrives, and farewells made (see previous descriptions, but this is much, much smaller, but no less well-intentioned) be venture forth. Good driver, older, safer, cautious, smooth. Unlike the last one who took 19 mobile calls and made 7 whilst driving. Hands-Free? Oh! You mean not touching the steering wheel! And it still took the same time without doing 120kph. Salutary lesson to younger drivers…!!
As we approach Göcek, we appreciate, that in addition to dusk there is more cloud, and as we near the tunnel, lightning flashes across the sky. By the time we get to Dalaman Airport, it’s like Saturday in Kalkan again, only heavier! Fortunately, we don’t get wet (very) and join check-in.
As we’re flying Imperial Airways, or is it BEA – must watch out to see if Petula Clark’s a hostess – the check-in’s not open and there’s 40 or so queuing. M-m-m-m, this looks like a Havaş issue, they’re not used to this new interloper at Dalaman, yet.
It’s painless, however, and the required assistance means we queue-jump, security, passport control and to a lesser extent, boarding. It always seems to me that Dalaman Airport has the world’s least efficient air-con system in any airport I’ve been to. Singapore didn’t have the oven-like atmosphere, and neither did Alice Springs or Uluru (there I go, name-dropping again), and those last two are definitely not in the Air-Bridge class of airports.
The flight’s delayed by 20 minutes. Ha! The inbound doesn’t arrive until 2130 instead of 2045, are they telling us it’s going to turn around in 40 minutes? Pull the other one!
So they did, Push back in 42 minutes from previous arrival. So it can be done.
No tonic water though, but Gin and Vodka was OK, how about Bacardi? Nope, but we have Coke!
Red wine it is then (Hydration at Altitude is VERY Important). Chilean, quite reasonable at 35,000 feet – cheeky with just a hint of Damsons and berries(!), with the prospect of a wrap, wrapping very little, a bridge roll and cheese and crackers on the aforementioned gastronomic delights. At least on Imperial Airways, the drink (when they have any – they must have been a thirsty lot on the way out) and the nourishment (avoiding the term: Meal) are included.
20 minutes late at Airwick Gatport, we watch amusedly as the passengers stand in the aisle while the engines power down (Word of advice, until the engines are stopped, the aircraft can still collide with the terminal if something fails – it’s happened), fully expecting the doors to be opened immediately and their luggage waiting for them.
We wait. And quietly walk off, and smugly by-pass the lot of them queuing for Immigration as we motor round the airport, where, amazingly, all the luggage is on the carousel. As we’re among the first there, and didn’t have to endure the immense line of people proving that they’re not illegal immigrants, so for once the luggage was quicker than the passengers. Very obviously NOT Luton Airport, where the luggage can be hours after the passengers, especially after midnight arrivals.
Straight out of the airport, avoiding the red and green channels, due to the buggy, and declaring (truthfully) we only have 2 litres of booze between us, they allow us to proceed to Valet Parking.
The car’s waiting and 50 minutes after touchdown, we’re driving out of the Airport. Even more obviously NOT Luton. I could do with more of this!
3am bed, then. Waitrose delivery at 9am. Just enough time to have some slee…ZZZZZZZ
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Thank you, Chris - I've really enjoyed your blogs! Glad you're home safely. x
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Day 16 – Closing Down: Don’t forget to turn off your set (fade to white dot)
Well, that’s it. Certainly for this year.
Will there be one next year? We’re booked in, flights to sort out (not the best time yet). EK and KTLN will be monitored assiduously, as per usual. Biggest issue is getting back to the weight we went out as. Familiar Territory.
I'm not going to rate anyone or anything – too dangerous! But I can say that, whereas we normally try somewhere new, or go somewhere familiar, and they fail us, for one reason or another, this didn't happen this year.
A few glitches, errors or cock-ups, but nobody got it enough wrong to give a ‘not going there again’ flag. Things go wrong sometimes; that’s life and it’s not the error, it’s the rectification that means you can overlook things. It’s when the error is studiously ignored or it’s more systemic that the worry really starts. Fortunately, this wasn't an issue (well, it IS Kalkan), except for the sole potential systemic problem…
The Boat trips were good, as always, the food was good, as always, etc., etc., etc.
I just hoped you enjoyed / appreciated / didn't quite hate, the ramblings of an Idiot on Holiday in Kalkan.
Maybe that’s next years report Title – if you can face it. Plenty of time to cancel the Broadband contract!
Remember two facts: Hydration is Important and to Lie Down and Recover when necessary.
Cue: National Anthem.
And
Don’t forget to turn off your set (fade to white dot)………………..
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Thank you for taking the trouble to post while you was on holiday. Really enjoyed them.
Glad you had a good time and booked again for next year, we have also but not sure yet if we will get out there due to pending operations, fingers crossed they can be sorted before then.
Weather not good out there by the sound of things weatherwise, feel sorry for the people on holiday this week, lets hope it clears up soon.
Looks like the UK is due for some sunshine in the next few days, better get the garden chairs back out again!
BarbH
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Well I certainly enjoyed and appreciated your ramblings (note, no reference to idiot ;)) Chris_S and jolly well hope you continue next year.
Sorry the weather wasn't brilliant for the last couple of days and glad you both arrived home safely.
I will gladly remember your motto(s)/facts and hope to perfect them next April when next in Kalkan. Cheers :)
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:) Thank you so much Chris_s I really enjoyed your reports. The term "Hydration is Important" will definitely stay with me and I will endeavour to live up to that maxim next week. :laugh: Like you we have already booked for next May and are planning a trip in August too if possible.
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Yes thank you for keeping us entertained with your posts Chris_S, have enjoyed reading them. Sounds like you had a fabulous holiday. Glad your all booked up for next year, sadly as yet we are not! but are working on it.
Jayne
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LOVED you blog, Chris_S...made me chuckle quite a bit. Look forward to the return trip next year
Still wondering if you were at Meldi..? Rhapsody? Oasis? Pasha? Regency? Do tell :)
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Excellent reports Chris_S. Look forward to reading about your adventures next year. I'm enjoying a glass of wine while writing this as I totally share your sentiment that 'Hydration is important'.
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Great posts Chris! I'm also curious about where you have been staying?
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Really enjoyed your reports. The time seemed to fly by! I don't think any forum regulars will travel without ensuring the two rules are observed at all times!