The Secret Kalkan Diary of Lizilu20 "2014 Summer Special"

[Skunk]

Gosh Lizzie, thought I was bad! In fact, I am bad! We sat in this bar in Turunc and had enough Raki and water to last the average Turkish guy a lifetime! Are you going to have to go back to all the bag shops and cancel your orders?
And the humiliation that can happen at the Moonlight Bar!!! We have been known to roll home paralytic at 3.30am. I have a photo of me with a special large glass of wine that the Moonlight dug out for me because I felt insecure with the small ones.
Hope you have a great evening with B and J - that villa is entirely fabulous. Are you doing a barbie again?  Look forward to hearing all about it tomorrow.
Bless you all and take care of yourselves! Have a good time.
Skunk xx 

[Bob & Jayne]

Oh Lizzie, how your latest post has made me laugh this morning, but oh so true!!!!!!!!
I've only just got to read it, through tired bleary eyes again this morning!!

Laters XX

[clara 50]

Fantastic report, cheered me  up on this gloomy august morning. We almost could be sisters, however many good intentions to be sophisticated after a few drinks usually goes out of the window. Brain goes into idiot mode and legs go from normal one minute to rubber the next. Could give me some warning. Thought after I turned the big 5 O I'd get all mature, WRONG. Oh well, never mind at least it seems I'm in good company. 

[Lizilu20]

Tuesday 12th August 2014

Thanks you all so much for your kind and witty comments. I'm so glad I'm not on my own!! 

Oh boy I was hungover yesterday. I had to wear my new sunglass varifocals indoors all morning. There was no way I could go out in the sunshine as it felt like my head was going one way and my brain another, every time I moved. A berocca, 2 co-codamol and a litre of water later and I was feeling much better which was good as we had been invited out for lunch and nothing was going to stop me enjoying that.

We made our way down to the Yelken where we have stayed a few times, to see our lovely friends Yelkenite and RosiB. Now I'll let you into a little secret. RosiB is half Italian and the best cook ever, so diet or no diet, hangover or not, there was no way I was going to jib on this meal. We had the most delicious pasta dish. A traditional bolognese that was the best I've ever tasted, with a side salad in dainty dishes and a gorgeous variety of oils and vinegars. This was followed by slices of watermelon, so so delicious. It was really great to see them and catch up on all the news since we had last met.

We called in Migros on the way back for provisions and OH had to negotiate how to get the car across the road now that there is the new one way system going on. Just above Migros there is a little junction where you can nip through, rather than having to go all the way up to the traffic lights, although we saw quite a few just going the wrong way, and totally ignoring the fact that it's now a one way system.

Back at the villa, we had an hour or so of sunbathing before Bob and Jayne arrived, armed with wine and beer - all my good intentions flew out the window of course and a merry night was had by all ! We started off on the top floor balcony and watched the sun make its gentle descent down the hillside. Dinner was a hunkar takeaway and JAyne managed to order very coherently, the only glitch being that they sent a chicken pide instead of a chicken pitta. An easy mistake to make I suppose. Four mixed grills, 1 pide mistake, 1 chicken wrap, 1 doner, 1 chicken wings and free flat breads, salads and ezme for the grand total of 209tl. Not bad for 7 people and we were all as full as ticks afterwards. It took about an hour for the delivery to arrive and we were all so hungry so remember to order well in advance.

In his haste to get to his grub, OH managed to upturn the candle holder and the beautiful glass table turned into a river of hot molten wax. The takeaway guy then plonked a carrier bag right on top! Bobs new beatspill speaker took a hammering too and it now has a new speckled design - sorry Bob 

We had a fab night. We laughed the night away and midnight came far too soon. As luck would have it, our neighbours pulled up in a taxi and I flew down the steps like a mad woman to save Bob the cost of a call to the taxi rank. I managed to flag the taxi down and off they both set, this time being Jaynes turn to zig zag.  Such a shame that this year our villa had a mobile for local calls but was pinched before we could make use of it 
I'm having to be so careful with phones and a wee boo-boo was made this holiday. My daughter switched data roaming off on my phone and OH inadvertently turned it back on, thinking that he was switching it off, obviously not knowing it had already been done (poor communication skills in the lizilu household). We had only been here a sodding hour when a text message appeared to say that I had used 80% of my data roaming cap. I was really shocked but I thought, good old orange has let me know before things get out of hand. Ha, not so, my cap is £41.00!!!! So an hour in Kalkan had cost me around £33.00 for doing sod all! We live and learn 

Today we are dining  at the Marina with our double trouble pals B&J and our neighbours from home who are here again this year. There will be 11 of us so no doubt will be keeping Mario and George et al on their toes!

Until tomorrow...

[kalkan4eva]

I hope there won't be any laughing out loud in Marina
Sounds like you are having a thoroughly brilliant time -and why wouldn't you? Good food, good company and all in lovely Kalkan.
Can't wait for your next update...totally there with you in spirit (did you see what I did there...?)

[Lizilu20]

K4E, I may have to suppress a few giggles but I promise I shall chuckle in a ladylike manner. I like what you did there  I'm sure we will all be in high spirits tonight   

[Bob & Jayne]

Hasn't she excelled today with her post K4E, we have been laughing this afternoon at Lizzie's post, and haven't touched a drop yet!!! High spirits we will be I am sure, but on best behaviour tonight! Gin up Lizzie (oh sorry I mean Chin up!!!, otherwise you'll need a tonic in the morning!!!   


Shirl x

[joycie]

Love the fish and chips at the Marina only three weeks and we'll be there. Can't wait.

[kalkan4eva]

Love it Jayne/Shirley

[Babs]

I'm not sure who's leading who astray there, Lizilu or Shirley! But it sounds like you are having a brilliant time! 
Strange how the body just gets used to an excess of alcohol.....usuall y a couple of drinks on a school night and I'm out for the count (which reminds me, must put bottle in fridge as off out with friends tonight!) however when I'm in Kalkan I can drink like a fish!

[Skunk]

Another great post Lizzie. Sounds like you are all having a ball! We'll be with you in spirit (but not too much of it) tonight. Enjoy yourselves. 

[RosiB]

Thanks for your lovely compliments, Lizzie! We really enjoyed seeing you and Shaun. Enjoy the rest of your holiday! X

[Haybo]

Lovely pic on fb.......wish I was there!

[Lizilu20]

Wednesday 13/08/14

I'm writing this as the sun is setting after our fantastic trip on the Pina x. I will write all about this tomorrow as I still have yesterday's antics to report!

Yesterday we all decided breakfast at chillies was the order of the day so off we went chauffeured by Automan, living up to his name again. I had to have my usual order of menemen which is so delicious. They now do sausage and bacon butties as well as the full English, so our girls had those and OH had a mixed omelette which was scrummy - laden with garlic mushrooms, peppers and spicy sausage. Of course I had to sample it to check that it wasn't poisonous, doing him a favour really 

After that it was bag shopping while OH had his shave/haircut/massage combo. He always goes to Mesut coiffeur on the Kalamar road which is handy for me to peruse simply chic next door. Sybille, the owner is a gorgeous and extremely friendly lady but unfortunately her prices were a little steep this year, also she didn't  have just what I wanted in stock so I left empty handed. I felt a bit guilty but as I said, I only have a modest amount of birthday money so every penny counts.

OH had to wait in line so I was able to witness the full works at the barbers. He went in looking like grizzly Adams on a good day and I could fair see the tension disappear from him as he made himself comfortable in the chair that resembled one in a dentists surgery. There definitely is an art to this Turkish coiffeury thing. Mesut was fully concentrating on the task in hand and with a flourish he transformed my OH. He muttered something to one of his other customers and next thing we knew, Mesut was thrusting bottles of sparkling mineral water into our hands with an order of 'DRINK'!! We duly did as we were told, all except OH. He took one look at OH and shouted 'DRINK BABA'  so Baba did as he was told. Apparently Baba means daddy and daddy did not disobey. Unfortunately our girls hate sparking water and I'm not too keen either. It fills me up with gas and I'm always expecting a taste to follow the fizz, a bit like prosecco but it never happens ha ha. So OH was in there about an hour being pummelled and snipped and tapered and smoothed out. I spent an hour being tortured as I ended up drinking the best part of 4 bottles of fizzy water so as not to cause offence. Every time he brandished the cutthroat in a different direction, I was surreptitiously handed one of the girls waters and the empty passed back to them. I felt so full of gas, I'm sure I could have floated over cappadocia! The girls were so mortified when a huge burp made its way up.and out but I suppose that it could have been worse. 

Last night was our night at the Marina as Shirley has so eloquently reported back to you. I have little to add other than we had an absolutely brilliant night. Both the company and food were excellent. On our way down I had flashbacks of my drunken night out. On passing Baharat I had to bow my head as I remembered telling him very sweetly that although his food was delicious, his service was dreadful! Oops! I also had to wear my dark glasses and look the other way at those bag shops. However I did pop in BSG and collected the two bags that I'd put away! A gorgeous mulberry clutch in a pewter colour and a classic medium sized black Chanel flap. I bought both for just over the price quoted at simply chic for the Chanel and the quality is excellent. 

I must stop here as the girls are asking for their dinner and I need my wine glass refilling so until tomorrow...

[Haybo]

This is my 100 th post! Yay! I think everyone in kalkan should celebrate!

Good to hear you have got bags at last. The moody Louis that I bought from the shop under Doy Doy is wonderful.  I looked it up on the LV site and they retail at £3150! They only do them in black and a milky coffee colour.  Luckily I chose the coffee version.  If is superbly made.  I can spot a fake monogrammed LV at a 100 paces, so I am a bit pleased with my purchase.

Off to cinema tonight....

[Bob & Jayne]

Lizzie, brilliant post again!!! and as for bags, well us girls can't have enough can we! there seem to be so many bags shops here in Kalkan now, and all I can say is keep them coming! 

Haybo - glad your pleased with your LV purchase too!!!   

[kalkan4eva]

Loving your reports, Lizilu. I love the fizzy water in the little glass bottles - I notice a lot of the locals drink it too. For the last couple of years I've used the flavoured ones as a vodka mixer, we buy tons of the stuff when we're there. It is very gassy though and four bottles, one after another, would play havoc with your digestive system...
BH gets called Baba although we've not been with our kids for years....funny! The pronounciation sounds like Buba and with my dodgy hearing I thought for a while they were saying Buddah...Big man, big belly, bald head - yep that fits 
You will use that Chanel classic flap for years...trust me. Good choice It pays to shop around (spread the love...) and always...always shop sober. I will often pick them up in a merry state but they have always been chosen in sobriety.
Keep them coming 

[The Engineer]

I mix the little bottles of fizzy water mixed with the  tonic to make slimline tonic.
Buba is an endearment that means granddad, I'm called it often and quite like it.

M

[Lizilu20]

Thursday 14th August,

Well I woke up this morning and knew that something was not right. I just felt really ill and before I knew it I had welcomed an old adversary from April back into my life "the Turkey Trot" has reared its ugly head and made me a very unwilling victim. Anyway, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my gripes (geddit?    so onto yesterday's adventure on the high seas. Before I do that though, what a good tip to water the gin down with the fizzy water thus making it less calorific. I will try that. I'm loving my bags too ladies thanks for your comments. 

So yesterday was a fabulous day. We had a little time to spare before we were due at the harbour so called in the new bakery near the lemon garden. The lady was really helpful and explained what each pastry was and we left armed with lots of goodies which we ate on our way down. My favourite was a little filo pastry number which was stuffed with creamy mashed potato and the hottest of hot fresh red chillies. Yummy. At the harbour all our shipmates were waiting and we excitedly trip trapped our way down the wobbly ramp.

Abdi welcomed us aboard (we made sure we brushed the crumbs off first!) and before we knew it, we were drinking coffee and saying goodbye to the harbour as the gentle sea breeze whipped my hair into a frenzy of medusa like snakes. We were so pleased that Abdi took a left turn around the headland - yay, we were off to kaputas. It was a fantastic day for an adventure, the sea was like a mill pond but our youngest still spent most of the day laid in the shade, feeling sick. She managed a swim and surfaced for a bit of cake late afternoon but unfortunately never found her sea legs. Me and Jayne did though ha ha. As she mentioned, it started off when Bob plugged his phone into C'pn Abdi's sound system and Celine's dulcet tones warbled out. There was only one thing for it - a titanic pose was the order of the day and what a laugh we had taking comic photos of each other with our OH's.
Such a shame for our friends little girl. They arrived on Sunday night and by Monday morning, were in the medical clinic with her. She had just gone into their pool for her first swim and managed to cut the top of her foot very badly on a sharp tile. This required 7 stitches and was told no swimming for 5 days. Such a shame for her and she was so brave. We have another couple of boat trips booked so hopefully she will be fine by then.

So Shirley/Jayne and I were deep in conversation. She told me she doesn't drink alcohol on boat trips and I was nodding in agreement. One bottle of angora and a few G and t's later, we decided we actually DID in fact drink alcohol on boat trips! So funny. I think we bring out the best, or is that the worst in each other.

Unfortunately our life on the ocean wave had to be curtailed and we said our farewells. We were all so shattered that we stayed at home with a passport pizza delivery for our dinner, or tea as us northerners call it! We watched a good movie called 'while she was out' and were all flat out by 11ish.

A little observation from yesterday - Malibu factor 30 all day long dry oil spray, does not last all day long if you are on a boat trip! Ouch, I've now joined the rest of my lobsters!!!

[Bob & Jayne]

You get better soon my partner in crime. Fab blog though Lizzie. X