The Secret Kalkan Diary of Lizilu20 - August Musings.

[Lizilu20]

Tuesday 21/08/18

Well better late than never! Due to a combination of abysmal WiFi and sloth, I didn't manage a live diary these past two weeks, so I've decided instead to do a compilation of 'best bits' so here goes nothing...

Passengers - Lizilu20, Automan, Daughter no2 and Batgirl.

Flights - Both ways with Easyjet, fab flight times, early am there and lunchtime back. No delay's other than 30mins both ways on the tarmac waiting for the slot as determined by air traffic control as apparently the skies were very full. This didn't seem like a delay at all as no sooner had the cabin crew done the demo's and safety checks, we were roaring down the runway.
Number of sick bags used by Bargirl = 1, number of white wines consumed = 8, JD and coke = 2, G+T = 4 (RETURN)
Number of extra slimline tonics purchased for the holiday stash = the full tray. Sorry Pax from row 3 onwards, you didn't get a look in but my slimline sundowner needs were greater than yours.

Hamam - Automan and I were Hamam virgins, no longer, after the starter package at the Elixir. We were exfoliated, pummelled, soaped, tickled, massaged, mud masked and slapped about a bit. Me by a very sweet, gentle and kind German lady called Julia.  Automan by a very competent Thai lady who at one point seemed to be walking over his back and then I could actually hear her frenziedly smacking his flesh, the sound echoing through the marble walls. 
Point of note. All is not as it seems on the Elixir advertisement of day guests welcome. We asked if our daughters could park their bums in the hotel while they waited for us. No worries, they ushered them to a cabana, gave them 2 towels and an hour or so later we collected them after having parted with £90.00 On our way out, they stopped us at reception. Wanted to charge us a hotel day rate for the girls waiting for us. No mention of this when they welcomed us in, or in May when they showed us round. Automan angrily paid up but I had to go back to the hamam as I'd forgotten my hair band. I decided to speak to the manager as I thought this seemed a trifle excessive and unreasonable. I got our money back after explaining that not only we had spent a lot of money already and he had 4 guests staying there for 3 nights at the recommendation of us, but he was very rude and the money was was virtually thrown back in my face. 
Number of hotel barrings = 1 and it was only our first day! So our Fethiye friends arrived and we had to keep a low profile. We contemplated visiting them in disguise but decided against it. Think we will try a different Hamam next time which is a shame as it was excellent.

Beverages - Now that I've discovered that Sekersiz  (pronounced she curses) means sugar free in Turkish, my eyes were a goggle at what I could mix in with my spirits. Along with the fevertree plane tonics, I was able to try new combos of lemon and lime Robinsons squeezy mixed with camlica lemonade and sekersiz limonata mixed with mineral water or on it's own. Marvellous.

Pedicure - Yasmin on the Kalamar road all the way. £10.00 for the best pedicure in town. Automan also had a haircut next door. He swears best cut, also eyebrow threading, exfoliation, steam facial sauna, blackhead removal mud pack and massage included - him not me!

Dodgy tummies = 2 

Hideous disfiguring cold sores = 1, moi 

Boat trips = 2
Neptune with the super cute little Zak aged around 4, the son of the owners, mum Canadian so little Zak was bi-lingual and so entertaining. He greeted us onto the boat, took our shoes and held his hand out for me to alight into the cabin. Food good, lovely day out.
Yildiz3 - what can I say, the absolute best day out, we bobbed over to Kaputas too.
Number of sick bags used by Batgirl = 1

Slips trips and falls = 1 Batgirl singing away and not looking, fell full length of stairs. Thankfully she survived with a big fat toe to show off. Her false tan also turned her green with the chemicals from the pool, she will kill me for telling you but you may have already noticed her about town.

Sweaty market trips = 1 and that was enough. Spices bought, leather belts and bags of nuts. Oh how I love the nobby's nuts and the honey sesame flavoured ones.

Beaches visited = 1 Patara and dunes. We went at 8.30 am, perfect time to go. Number of soles blistered = 2, Automan got to the top of the dunes then realised he could hardly walk. I watched him dance back like he was treading on hot coals or the hobs in hell while I rested under the shade of a tree, accompanied by fag butts and beer cans. Such a shame people litter this gorgeous place.

Nudity = 2 We had a birds eye view on the honeymooners at the Regency from our balcony  I don't think they could see us, but boy we saw them. I had to confiscate the binoculars 

Bags = 2. LV neverfull and a longchamp, both for £79.00 at BSG. Simply chic wanted £140.00 for the LV alone. Such a disparity in price. 

Takeaways = 2 both from Cafe Vita and were delicious

Restaurants visited/b] - too may to count. As usual we enjoyed amazing food varying from Suleyman's shack to Aubergine. Slightly disappointed with Aubergine, maybe new chef? Fabulous steaks at Alternativ, Moussaka, Marina, Sade, and Gourmet. Recommend Aqua for lunch, also Yelken, Suleyman's and chillies. Fener  x 2 for evening meal, cheap as chips and fab food. Kaya was as good as ever and seaport amazing. Kleo was good for evening meal too but low tables made for not as comfortable eating. Chinese very good but service a little haphazard but lovely and apologetic staff. Trio was amazing and a big shout out to Sami at La Terraza, fab host and scrummy meal. The Brothers was as yum as ever and I can definitely recommend Marley's. First trip but not the last. Whole meal was amazing. I'm sure I've forgotten some others. 

Value for money this year - What can I say that hasn't already been said about the exchange rate making Kalkan even better value for money than ever. I'd like to think that we helped the economy a bit by giving back as much as we could. At least Automan thinks so as his bulging wallet is now well and truly empty.

Best Turkish Delight - Sweet Dreams without a doubt, Ibo buzzing about and serving the most delicious sweet treats and best bit is you can try before you buy.

Weight gained = half a stone 

Dancing= 0 How could I without my partner in crime. We missed Shirl and Bob like you wouldn't believe. 

And so endeth this years Kalkan jaunts. I'm sorry there were no live reports although I'm sure normal service will be resumed next time. Oh well back on countdown...






Linkback: https://www.enjoykalkan.com/forum/index.php?topic=14044.0

[Blue Lizard]

I was glad more shops were selling salt & vinegar crisps ..... I'm a simple man

[joycie]

Wow Lizilu been and gone without even noticing. As usual your reports are informative and entertaining. Thankyou.
We booked as soon as we returned this year for next years Golden Wedding so every thing in place really early. Can’t wait till June 2019.

[Lizilu20]

Salt and vinegar crisps used to be a rarity and onceover we could only find them at the deli where the chicken man hangs out. We actually found low fat baked crisps too which were delicious.

Joycie, I'm sorry but the wifi was really bad and around town too. I couldn't face doing a long blog then it not posting. I'm looking forward to your Golden Wedding too.

[Bob & Jayne]

OH what  a fab report Lizzie and what a fabulous holiday you all had. Can't tell you either how we missed sharing it with you this summer. Next year we'll definitely make up for it  x

[Babs]

Oh lizilu...loved your report and can't wait for next year! 

[kalkan4eva]

What you lacked in quantity you made up for it in quality!Loved this little snapshot of your holiday, albeit I did miss your blog!
Loved this elevator pitch of Kalkan - so much to savour and agree wholeheartedly with.
What a shame about Elixir...maybe you should have spoken to Selda (I thought she was the manager, maybe she's the owner..?) I know you wouldn't have let it spoil your holiday....and dont get me started on Simply Chic prices...you'd think with her rent being cheaper on Kalamar Road she's pass that on the the customer...? Just sayin!
If its any consolation, your partner in crime missed you just as much in June...

[Irene]

Lizzie, Shaun & family - really enjoyed your report!  Logged in expecting to find something about water/electric cuts, the exchange rate, taxi prices,etc...
Instead, a lovely diary of your holiday! - just like finding the last present under the Christmas tree has your name on it!  Thank you, another fabulous holiday!
All this talk of Christmas has reminded me to look at flights - that’s another story! xxx

[Lizilu20]

Thanks so much, I’m glad you enjoyed the condensed version  .

K4E, I wonder who the bloke was who I spoke to at the elixir? He was the one who showed us round in May and was all over us. On the strength of this, our friends booked a 3 day stay as I enthused how lovely it was. They dealt solely with Selda.
The sweet lady on reception went to find him when I (very nicely but firmly) expressed my disappointment at the charge. Maybe Selda wasn’t around at the time? Maybe he was the owner? Whoever he is I think he needs a refresher in customer service technique 
Every time we walked past after that, we scuttled past, heads down, like rats, can’t see us can’t see us. 

Oh I’ve got the post Kalkan blues now. 

[Haybo]

still laughing about the binoculars!

Doing the thing at Elixir....what was the day rate?

[Lizilu20]

Haybo, this was before the lira flew through the roof and may be more now as most prices rose while we were there eg boat trip from 100tl to 120tl. It was if I remember rightly 40tl per person per day. We would have happily paid if we had been told about this beforehand and if the girls were there all day using the facilities. If you have a hamam you don’t have to pay but yet they wanted us to. 

[keith]

Many thanks for sharing your holiday experience Lizilu20. It sounds as though the couple on their honeymoon were having an enjoyable time and probably just as well that you confiscated the binoculars!! I'm hoping that your post will encourage other members to start typeing........we all need a regular fix!! It will be interesting to see how things work out in respect of the exchange rate........whatever.........I still expect that Kalkan will continue to deliver value for money.